four years sober and i still get the itch. not the drug itch. the human touch itch. the connection itch. recovery rooms tell u to avoid all ur old triggers but what if the trigger keeps u stable.
escorts aint just about sex. they're about human contact. controlled interaction. when i was using, everything was chaos. random hookups. dangerous situations. now i book time with professionals. safe. clean. boundaries.
sarah last month. mid 30s. dark hair. worked in manchester. she knew exactly how to make me feel seen without judging my past. we talked more than we fucked. thats the thing ppl dont understand about sex work. sometimes its about listening. being present.
my addiction counselor would freak if he knew. but fuck it. this is harm reduction. better a scheduled encounter with someone who respects boundaries than me spiralling into old patterns. better controlled intimacy than random desperation.
recovery is messy. dont let anyone tell u different. sometimes staying clean means finding ur own weird paths.