There's this moment right before I reach out to a new escort where my hands shake a bit. Not from nerves about the sex part. From nerves about the trans part.
Every time, I have to decide how and when to disclose. Sometimes I put it right in my initial message. Sometimes I wait til we're discussing specifics. Sometimes I worry they'll ghost me the second they know.
I've had wildly different reactions. Some providers are immediately warm and affirming. They ask about my body, what language I prefer, what feels good for me. Others... well. Let's just say rejection stings harder when you're already used to feeling like your body is complicated.
My current approach is direct but gentle. I explain I'm a trans man, pre-op, and I'm upfront about what that means physically. I give them space to be honest about their comfort level. Because I don't want an encounter where someone's just tolerating me. I want genuine connection.
It's exhausting, honestly. But it's also how I protect myself. How I ensure some basic dignity in these intimate transactions.