Most people look at me and see a wheelchair first. They see disability before they see desire. But Sarah saw me. Really saw me.
I've been thinking a lot about how disabled people get infantilised. We're supposed to be grateful for any human contact, right? Like touch is some kind of charitable act. But sex isn't charity. Intimacy isn't a gift you give a disabled person out of pity.
When I first started seeing escorts, I was nervous. Would they recoil? Would they see my body as something broken? But some, like Sarah, understand something deeper. They understand that disabled bodies are sexual bodies. Complex. Hungry. Full of wanting.
Our session wasn't about her being kind. It was about genuine connection. About skin against skin. About feeling wanted. Not pitied. Not managed. Wanted.
I get so tired of people treating disability like it's a problem to solve. My body works differently. That doesn't make my desires less real. That doesn't make my hunger for touch less urgent.
Sometimes I just want someone to look at me and see a person. Not a project. Not a charity case. Just a person who needs connection.