Separation changes everything. One week youre full time dad, next week youre alone in this Clare cottage wondering how adult connections work. My ex and I split custody which means I get the kids every other week. Those off weeks become my own strange sort of freedom.
When the kids are with their mother I start thinking about companionship. Not just sex though thats part of it. Its about feeling like an adult with needs beyond parenting. I schedule carefully. Always make sure my phone is locked, my place is clean, no chance of unexpected interruptions.
Clare is small. Everyone knows everyone. So discretion means everything. I use online services that let me connect with professionals who understand boundaries. No drama. No complications. Just clear arrangements where both people know exactly whats happening.
Cost is always a factor. Two households mean money is tight. But I budget. Set aside funds just like Id budget for anything else. A dinner. A night out. Except this is more personal. More about maintaining some sense of self during a complicated time.
Its not simple. Never is. But finding these moments keeps me balanced. Keeps me sane between custody weeks and single parenting.