So I guess Im writing this cause honestly who else am I gonna tell? Not my mates from uni thats for sure. Theyd lose their minds if they knew. Most of them talk big about pulling girls at the student bars but I know half of them are just as clueless as me.
I was 20 and yeah still a virgin. Its not like I wanted to be. Just never happened. All that porn you watch makes sex seem so easy and perfect but its not. Real life is messy and complicated and awkward. I was getting desperate honestly. Felt like everyone was moving on and I was stuck.
Found her profile on a site. She was in Cork city center. Decent rates for a student budget. Texted back and forth which was nerve wracking. Spent like an hour just trying to sound cool and not desperate. When we met I was shaking. She was professional. Made me feel calm. Didnt judge.
Its weird to talk about but it wasnt just about sex. She was kind. Talked to me. Helped me feel less like a total loser. First time was quick obviously but she didnt make me feel bad about it. Said its normal.
Would I do it again? Probably. But its complicated. Dont know if Id tell anyone. Just keeping it here I guess.