I've never been good at talking to women. Not in bars, not at work, not anywhere. My brain just freezes up. I'm a software developer who can spend hours debugging complex algorithms but can't string together a simple conversation with someone I'm attracted to.
Social anxiety is a real monster. It's not just shyness. It's this constant background noise of panic that makes human connection feel impossible. I watch my colleagues chat and flirt so effortlessly while I'm stuck in my own head, analyzing every potential interaction like it's a system crash waiting to happen.
So I started seeing escorts. Not out of some porn-fueled fantasy, but because I craved human touch. Real intimacy. Someone who wouldn't judge my awkwardness or expect me to perform some elaborate dating ritual.
Dublin has a discreet scene. Professional. Clean. The women I've met are kind. They understand that for some of us, connection isn't about pickup lines or gym muscles. It's about feeling seen. Feeling human.
I know some people will judge. But this is how I survive my loneliness. This is how I remind myself that I'm not broken. Just different.